I just got myself up to speed with the PRC Ferrari driver incident with the cabbie. I know it's a hot topic, but I didn't really post this as a viewpoint of the whole incident.

I'm definitely the type of guy who likes dancing to a sad song.

There are advantages of living in your own room, where all your entertainment is centralised in. I love being able to do everything that is important to me (i.e. the selfish stuff) in the confines of a single space. I have my computer, with a super powerful sound system and an awesomely large enough screen. I have my gaming console which doubles up as a blu-ray player. And I have my library, which provides me with all the reading leisure I need.

Don't get me wrong, living in this house means more to me that just that. I appreciate my family. I miss my living room because I don't get to spend as much time with my mum and brother as I did when I was younger. I've grown up, but it doesn't change the fact that I like having them around me. A big house does make that quite a challenge. I'm just glad that my mum understands. She's the best.

But the best thing I like about having my own room can be summarised in one simple fact: I can be myself, as embarrassing as I am, without giving a care in the world.

Aren't there moments in our life when feelings get the better of us? I know I have. When I'm overcome with great amounts of happiness, I can grin and squeal within the confines of my own 4 walls and be uncontrollably glad. When I'm sad, I can blast the sad music and lie down in bed and let it comfort me away into the night. I can cry, I can laugh. I can even fap (well, not really). No one's going to judge me.

No one except myself.

It's in these moments of life that you truly understand yourself. You have a time to look into your soul and be true to it. No facades, no lying, and no running away. You get to face up to the raw emotions and thoughts you are feeling. I like that. I like being able to ask myself the tough questions of "Why do I feel like this?", "Why am I affected by this?", "Who am I?". You can answer them on your own time. At the very end, you get to give yourself an answer which you genuinely felt was right. Sometimes you might not get the answers, but I guess that's when you know that you are truly lost.

I'm going on a tangent here but I think when people are alone, that's when they truly see themselves for who they really are. They see their own angels and demons. They can slay their beasts, or give in to them. We change because we can reflect. And sometimes we reflect because we want to change.

I urge everyone to find their own sanctuary. I feel it's important. Your own quiet spot where your heart and mind can be still. Be it going to the park at night or driving to nowhere, only you can decide. Only you will know your best spot. Find it though. I think you'll have a great conversation with yourself. Funny thing is, you might have one of the most intellectual conversations you've ever had. I know I did.

Dancing to that sad song, just feels like liberation.

And yes, hold yourself.

You were looking at some other bird.

I'm not a huge fan of gossip (although a little bit of gossip does me good). The idea of simply spreading rumours as truths has always been a bad idea. Or rather, why do we comment on other people, people we don't know, and their actions when we only see it from our perspective? We hardly know them so who are we to say what's what.

I find it disheartening to know that we judge people too easy by our own human nature. It's just in us to do that. Someone wins an award, we have something to say. Someone beats us in an exam, we assume he has no life. Some average or ugly looking person has a hot boyfriend or girlfriend, we comment that the person is probably rich as hell. Is it jealousy that gets the better of us?

Or are we just being jerks. Pride has so much to do with this. And this speaks mountains of a persons attitude and values.

Even amongst friends, pride can build a slow but sure divide. Winning arguments for the sake of winning. Advising not to help a friend, but to prove that you have more sensible answers than the other and to appear more intelligent than we are. Competing to prove that one is the better man.

And to me that's just ridiculous.

If I'm wrong, I think it's only right to admit it. We are friends because we want to help each other become better people. If I don't know something, I listen. Contributing what I know is all I can do.

One thing which bothers me though: do I sometimes say things in a way which I seem like I know more than I actually do?

My aim has never been to be the most intelligent amongst my peers. The only thing I've ever wanted was to be the best friend I can be to them. I want to be strong to provide strength as well. Emotional well-being is something which not many understand it's value.

At the end of this post, I guess all I really wanted to talk about was that we sometimes need to learn to be the bigger man.

And yes, bang the doldrums.

There were a bunch of posts that I wanted to put up. They were all saved as drafts. And now, they've been deleted into the realm of never-to-be-seen again.

I wrote those drafts thinking as a form of me letting off steam. I don't like that - expressing oneself in a sympathetic way, seemingly trying to fish for people to comfort you. That's just not me. I don't like people thinking they are at a moral high-ground, and that I am some stray who has lost his path. Comforting, consoling, offering advice, and showing concern - these are all fine. It's showing that you know better because you are who you are which is something I cannot accept. When it comes to humanly matters, we shouldn't put people down for what they believe in.

With that said, it still doesn't exclude the fact that we are entitled to have a different opinion. And that it's okay for us to feel that certain 'mindsets' don't match.

I believe in a lot of things. Things jotted down in this blog for years now. Friendship is a big part of it. It always has, and always will be. I don't come from a home with a very strong family connection, so I've come to rely on my friends more than most of the people I know. I'm happy with that. Having a poor family background doesn't really matter to me. I was raised on good values, so I'm grateful for that.

But the main reason I wanted to write this post is because of this very belief. On friendship. Are there times in our lives when we suddenly reassess our very beliefs? The ones which string us together when we are slowly falling apart. The ones which you stand up and fight for because it is our mantra. The ones which we wouldn't mind making as a permanent tattoo.

We all know, even some people wonder why they got that tattoo in the first place. And it's sometimes filled with regret.

I've come to that point in time. When I see people change into things which I cannot accept, it shakes you. There are things I believed that they believed. But it just doesn't apply anymore. Is my concept of friendship the same as what my friends have? Am I really devoting myself to a relationship which is not just being maintained by myself? The biggest question is: does friendship really translate into love? or does it translate to a matter of pride, convenience and a final safety blanket? My words may seem convoluted, but there's something to learn in them.

When we were young, we would say that we wanted our friendships to last forever. We still believe that. I want to believe that - because friends are all I really have left. I strongly believe that friendship is about accepting each other for whatever we are. However, when the very basis of friendship comes into question, that is a different situation altogether. And there are times even words, talking things out, doesn't seem to solve anything.

This is why I think I've reached that point when it's time to think about my friendships. Because there comes a time when we simply have to just walk away from the things which make us turn into the demons we fear.

I am prepared to be brave. It's funny how it is in the little things which show us things which we never knew were there.

And yes, fundamentals.

That's a glimpse of having a heart condition.

Two very different things. One explodes, the other one can be a silent implosion.

Is this a blog post which I see before me? The keyboard towards my hand? Come, let me type thee.

There are times when I really scare myself for lack of reason. And there are times where lack of reason leaves me scared.

So that's about it really. I think I might just be on a quest to help myself, well, gain a better outlook on life. Excellent.